Do you remember the fear leading up to January 1, 2000?
There was the concern that since years were encoded in computers in only two
digits that the flipover from 99 to 00 could cause chaos that could potentially
shut down everything with a microchip in it. We were all a little bit nervous as we were ringing in the new year, the new millennium, that everything
would go dark and we’d suddenly find ourselves back in the stone age. A lot of
us stocked up on necessities, making sure there was a little extra food and
water in the house.
Some went overboard and bought generators, certain that society
was going to break down. They were going to be the survivors, with all the
Meals Ready to Eat, canned foods, water purification tablets, and whatever else
survivalists store up in their special doomsday bunkers. And guns, lots of
guns. Because if the world is falling apart, you want to make certain you don’t
have to share with your unprepared neighbor. Darwin’s law, and all.
All I can say is January 1st must have been a
great time to be in the market for a generator. When Y2K failed to materialize,
there were a whole lot of people sitting on top of a whole lot of equipment
they had no need for. Prices for such items must have bottomed out overnight.
We’re looking at a similar situation coming up. You see,
for years, people have been certain that President Obama was going to come for
their guns. And a good many people have been preparing for that day, buying all
the guns and ammunition they could afford in order to ensure that they would
have enough when the time came that buying and selling guns would be outlawed.
And gun sales are at an all time high, gun rights
advocates are quick to point out how many are being sold as if it was a
vindication that their convictions are correct. Because, of course, if
everybody’s doing it, it simply must be right. As long as you are going along
with the flock then you’re doing the right thing, right?
The problem is we’ve seen it all before, oh so many
times. It’s called a stock bubble. In the run-up to 2008, people were investing
like mad in the real estate market, frightened that they were going to lose out
by not throwing their money at any available plot of dirt with a shack on it.
Except that all of the sudden the market turned on them and left a load of
people with a bank loan on property that was greater than what that property was now
worth. And before that there was a silver buy up, and a tulip buy up, etc. In
each case, a lot of people lost their savings on a craze that somehow seemed to
sweep over society. The mob isn’t always right, in fact a lot of people get
rich betting against them.
The thing is, all you need to get a mob excited is to place
a few fire-breathing demagogues in front of them to play upon their fears. Like
a Sunday morning preacher caught up in the spirit, there’s always some
attention whore willing to play to an audience, to get beyond their intellects
and go straight for the emotions. And their patriotism, they always go for
patriotism. So people like Ted Nugent whip up a lot of testosterone and
convince people the enemy is at the gates, that the government is coming for
your guns, and that’s just the start. So you better stockpile as much
ammunition as you can before they come for your wife and daughter next.
But what happens when the SWAT team doesn’t break down
your door in the middle of the night and take all your guns? What happens when
President Obama leaves office and the corner gun store is still open for
business? What happens when a Republican gets into office and makes even more
liberal gun laws than we have now (I mean liberal as in more tolerant. That’s
what the word means, look it up if you don’t believe me)?
I’ll tell you what happens. It will be Y2K all over
again. Perhaps it won’t be an immediate rush to sell, but it will happen,
whether quickly or slowly. It will happen, and people will start to think they’ve
overspent on guns. Not that there’s such a thing as owning too many guns, I
know, but most of us have other bills to pay. Eventually the wife is going to
complain that she has nowhere to store stuff because your guns are all over the
house. Maybe the wife might divorce you and you’re going to be strapped for
money. Or maybe your interests might change and you’ll be wanting more room for
your Downton Abbey collectibles or perhaps your L Ron Hubbard book collection.
Eventually you are going to realize you have more guns than you could possibly
fire in a lifetime and not enough money to buy a case of Hamms. You might deny
you’ve overbought, but I know what such denials are worth. I once had a kid who
assured me he was never going to regret buying all those Pokemon cards, that
some day they would be worth a fortune. It didn’t happen.
So someday you’re going to need cash more than you need
guns. What will you do then? You’ll want to sell them, but who is going to buy
them? All of your buddies were thinking the same thing you were, and now most
of them have more guns than they know what to do with. The corner gun shop will
only give you pennies on the dollar for the guns you bought from them, just
like the jeweler shop with your ex-wife’s engagement ring. It aint right, but
what are you gonna do? At any rate you’ve got guns and no money and you want
beer or that cute tea set or a Precious Moments figurine or what have you, and
all of the responsible gun owners already have too many guns in their gun
closets.
There’s still a market for all of those guns, people who
are willing to pay good money for what you have. There are a lot of creepy
people in this world and a lot of them like guns. And after all, it’s just not
right that the gun store is only willing to give you fifty bucks for a gun you
paid $500 for. So if you sell it to a stranger who might sell it to someone you
don’t know who might knock off a liquor store, it’s not you who’s to blame, is
it? Because after all, guns don’t kill people, people do.
And maybe you are responsible enough not to sell your
guns to less than savory elements. Others will. If you are a gun owner, you
know another gun owner like this, in fact you probably know a lot of them. And
a buyer’s market means a lot of people are going to be able to get their hands
on guns they probably shouldn’t have. Because all guns start out as legal guns,
criminals don’t make their own, and we’ve been making them and buying them like
they’re the new Beanie Babies. So if Obama doesn’t come for your guns the
realistic scenario is that a lot of those guns now in the hands of “responsible”
gun owners are going be sold to or stolen by criminals, because that’s how
criminals get guns. And if that doesn’t scare you, it does me.
